Letter to her #6

Hey you:

I think instead of notice, you should've put "Warning, the following is the perfect example of ELTS 6 :), because you did get your pass port! Ha! Kidding!" but please.... I am begging... at least give me paragraphs! (My only complain to you so far this trip, even though I am not on board ha!)

Granted this is more Wendlish than English, but as the fore-most expert on this particular... study! (as well as being the first only TWnese) I think I can still guesstimate (hint, this is not a real word) most of it. (Okay I promise from now on I am not gonna rip on your English in this email ha.)

Well, the fact that you are doing things differently, should be the best indication to you that you've changed, don't worry if you felt it's too "tiny" or if you felt it only modifies a little bit, you've just started changing a few months ago right? Give it time, I don't think I have to mention what position I would play during your evolution right? First I'll be that crazy nagging one, then silent listening one, then make you laugh one, then keep you company one, liking/missing/<3 you one and most importantly, white-wood one.

To be honest, it shouldn't be "Act like something, if you are doing something" for me at least. It's always been "At what stage of life, do what type of action"

Sometimes, when you know the time's not right/you aren't ready for something... don't force yourself to do it, or try and and "act like something" that you are not okay? Like you said, you will only ever get limited result if you didn't want to do it. :) We can only start learning about ourselves/what we want to do via knowing our limitations and accepting it.

To be honest, you coped with this teenage sullen stage (observation and guess for yours) a lot more active than I did, while you chose to actually achieve things on your priority list, I chose to sit there and let the world deal with itself, I believed that everything would eventually end... so there really isn't any point in doing anything, also... I just got into the beginning of Buddhism, which talked about more than 1 life, Karma, the concept of "nothingness" made me even more pessimistic about my own life. (perfect example of not being ready, and getting knowledge that aren't designed for my metal acceptance yet.)

But hey, we all got through right? and you turned into this wonderful person (don't you dare argue) that I like so much. And you still want to improve! Yay!

Hopefully our connection is bringing you new type of joy in life, for me, it's simply nice to know there's a person I care for having fun right at this moment, and that person cared about me while she's having fun. Of course, another simple joy came from looking at new things/situations/foods, and imagining what the other person would react to them. Best of all, I can hope and plan for future(yeah yeah yeah I am talking about future, bite me!) fun activities with her, travel, music, books, food etc.

To put it in the simplest way, I want you to know that you are fantastic just as who you are, your true self (no-one can show 100%, but you know what I mean here) there's no need to put extra set of camouflages or extra "layers" on top of who you are. Be more and more confident dear, I like, I miss, I want to spend time with that one true person that's inside/beyond/is Wendy.

Names/Families/Degrees/Positions etc. they are important while you want to survive(keyword) in the real world, but when we are together, let's just let our brains shut down and communicate with hearts it's simply a really good rest within this (pretty, albeit kind o messed up) world isn't it!

Ultimately, I just want you to be happy, and be yourself, there will be a lot of conflicts between "true self" and "society self" in the future, but finding a balance between it would always be our task, in fact, if you are living, you will always be trying to solve this puzzle. For now, I know I am totally comfortable, and look forward to spend any amount of time with you.

You were on a rail and you lost your track of thoughts?... Okay this is again getting no where, since we don't have a rail or track to let the train go on... the train's thought... get it?? I give up! So how exactly do you look at other people's food again? Miss Locker :P

The 4 steps... does it really make sense to you? Face it, Solve it, Drop it then Accept it?? What's to accept after you dropped it :P I would just do it Carnegie's way.

1: Imagine worst situation
2: Accept it
3: See if I can improve upon it
4: If can't, drop it, next question!

Other than wasting a box of tissue of yours, and screwing up the timing of telling you those "points" on MSN while in US... I had no regret for what I had typed to you :), you know I am cruel in certain ways. Upsetting you was never my intention, but you have to know that since we decided to be as truthful to one another as possible, it's going to be inevitable, but I will be more thoughtful next time, promise. I really, really dislike making you upset. "Best medicine taste bitter" but at least I could give it to you after you've had nice Pineapple/peaches or honey cake or something right? :)

I am dragging on again, but knowing that for every 1 less word I type, would be that 1 less second that I am imagining communicating with you... please forgive me for making this so long! Okay, time out, even I felt sicken by this sentence ha!! What exactly am I thinking!!!

I appreciate who you are/going to be, I respect who you are/going to be, I enjoy who you are/going to be, I support who you are/going to be and of course, I like you.

Truthfully
Me

P.S. You've been Europeanized! (I.E. English!)

P.P.S. Okok I already pinched myself for making fun of your email again... I am sorry!

MISS YOU!!! MUCH!!!